Hey there, it's been a while since I've posted here. I'm not a full-time blogger, so I tend to go back to my website in chunks of time when I'm not too busy. I just finished my first year of college (yay!!!) so I am in one of those aforementioned chunks of time where I want to put in time on curating more blog content. Before I get going with more outfit posts or anything else I have brainstormed, there's something I have to address for the peace of my own blogging soul.
When it comes to the blogging/Instagram/influencer world, there are a lot of things that irk me about the persona that bloggers create. The influencer world is over-saturated with pictures of avocado toast, golden hour selfies, and cutesy cafes. The Instagram algorithm craziness doesn't help any of this because it means that everyone copies the same styles over and over. Any small flaws on a perfectly-tuned timeline create intense insecurity. #sponsored content seems to lack the warm touch of reality. Pictures are edited to the point where we question the truth of anything coming from a blogger. In the first half of 2018, I found myself drifting towards the clean-teeth cookie-cutter version of social media that I hated so much. I was editing selfies, appeasing to brands, trying so desperately to get re-posted, and copying styles that I thought would be popular instead of what I really wanted to wear. It made me feel so inauthentic and disconnected from the content I was creating. I was trying to be someone else and chase after the status of other bloggers I admired. Moving forward, there are a few things I am changing about my mindset on Instagram and blogging. The first thing I had to remind myself is that I'm only 19 years old. Before you rush to say "age doesn't mean anything, the youth can do anything, blah blah blah," hear me out. There are a lot of times in my life where I've matured myself too soon, took on things I didn't really need to. God willing, I will have the time and the resources to put more into blogging, but it doesn't all have to happen right now. I'm also still in school, which means that I can't sacrifice the time I would spend on my education when I finally have the opportunity to attend a university where I can study subjects I have genuine interest in. The next thing I have to change is that I have to stay committed to representing my life truthfully. This one is twofold but comes down to the same idea: no more omitting reality. I will no longer retouch my pictures for any insecurities I see on my body. Everyone has flaws, everyone has things they don't like about themselves. Social media gives us the opportunity to pick and choose how we look, but taking this opportunity creates an impostor who haunts our flawed reality and incarnates our hatred of natural characteristics. I love the way I look and I don't mind a pimple here or there, so that mindset has to apply to what I post on social media, too. I will also be posting more of a complete representation of my life. That means more pictures of my family, friends, Momo, the things I actually do on a normal day, and the products I actually enjoy using. I can't represent a complete person on social media if I'm leaving out entire parts of my life. The last thing that I am changing is how I organize my content on Instagram and my blog. I used to spend so much time fine-tuning my posting schedule and how my feed would look. However, that created A LOT of problems. I would get busy and not be able to stick to my schedule, the schedule on my Instagram wouldn't synchronize with my blog, and I would be forced to be some kind of creativity robot who is inspired on cue. The truth is, I get inspired for outfits and writing at really random times and in really random patterns. I'd rather have my feed look a little random and allow myself the freedom of posting whatever I want whenever I want to. For example, I am writing and publishing this post today, not preparing it now and saving it to be posted later. Knowing me, there will still be some cohesion to my feed, but it won't be so systematic that it makes me want to delete everything I've ever posted. I hope you stick around to see me make these changes and that you keep returning to my blog for whatever reason that you enjoy it. If there's anything you want to see more of on my blog, I'm always open to any suggestions! Thanks for reading my little "letter-from-the-editor". Insha
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That set aside, I would say that the round blendercleanser solid box is definitely worth buying. Inside the box is soap and a small, circular version of the cleaning mitt. This thing makes my life so much easier when I'm going back and forth between my dorm and home or when I need to carry things into my dorm bathroom. It closes securely and you just need to have this one little box with you to clean your brushes. If you travel a lot, the blendercleanser solid is a must have.
I hope you enjoyed reading this month's review of my Ipsy glam bag. Just a reminder that this subscription is ONLY $10 a month with free shipping so it's really a great bargain to get 5 products a month. Even if they are only deluxe sample sizes, you get more than your money's worth. These reviews are not sponsored (I have not yet reached that level of bloggerdom haha) but they are totally honest so you know what using Ipsy is really like. See you next month!
If you are interested in signing up for Ipsy, feel free to use my referral link! Stay tuned for next month's review :)
your makeup skills and learn about different products. They try to give you some products you already enjoy using and then mix things up with some items you would enjoy being introduced to. So, let's dive into my July glam bag!
See you next month for my August review :) "Hijab is defined as the obligation that Muslim men and women have to practice modesty in certain areas of our lives with the most well-known being the way we dress. For a Muslim woman, the covering of her body sometimes includes what you see me wearing here today: a headscarf, commonly known as “the hijab” with the slang term “hijabi” referring to a woman who wears a hijab. And, the reason that I specify this as a “sometimes” thing is that, like in all religions, it’s always up to the individual on what they choose to practice. Even the specific parameters on what is supposed to be covered and in front of whom is up to interpretation, but the usual idea is that you cover your hair in front of men who are not related to you. In the end, choosing to wear a hijab full time is a decision that comes down to a woman’s personal relationship with God." Since around the age of 7, I remember making it a goal of mine to wear hijab full time. Neither my mother nor my sisters had ever worn it outside of religious situations, but I had seen the women in my community adopt it as part of their everyday attire. It was something so beautiful to me: a representation of the religion, culture, and values of a woman all tied together through her personal style. My time at the mosque had always been a comforting environment, so being able to take that part of my life with me everywhere I went seemed enchanting. As early as 2nd grade, I was dressing up my Barbie in makeshift headscarves and modest clothing. I fell in love with the beauty of her classic blonde hair and blue eyes just like many other young girls, but I saw more value in changing her from how she was presented to me. It wasn't about becoming like her; rather, it was about making her the woman I wanted myself to "grow up" to be. "In 7th grade, I was halfway finished with memorizing the Qur’an and earning the title of hafiza. It had been a dream of mine for a while, and when I got to that halfway point, I realized that there was no going back for me. Religion would always be a priority in my life, and really the next big step to commit myself to this relationship with God was wearing hijab full time. " The winter of my 7th grade year, I began what I called "Project Hijabista". It was my extremely organized, week by week plan to accomplish my goal of wearing hijab by spring break. The term "hijabista" was a combination of "hijabi" --- woman who wears the hijab --- and "fashionista" --- an avid follower of fashion. I didn't want my modesty to sacrifice my style, or my style to sacrifice modesty. For months, I watched hijab tutorials, read hijabi fashion blogs, and began piecing together outfits that I could wear when the time finally came. If you ever get your hands on my diary from that year, I hope you the chance to see the little drawings I made of all the different hijab styles. To say the least, they're detailed. I think the toughest part of this whole plan was simply telling my parents about it. I remember pushing it to the latest possible date that my plan allowed for. We were sitting in the car, on our way home after they had picked me up from Qur'an class. I had trouble just getting the words out of my mouth, but I finally said it. To my surprise, they had some hesitations, and I think that was when I realized what I was really getting myself into. In my optimistic bubble, I had forgotten to think about the hardships that would come from wearing a scarf on my head for the whole world to see. They were worried about my safety and how I would be treated when I, without saying a word, would be telling this Islamophobic world that I am a Muslim. It was a valid point, supported, of course, by the rising number of anti-Muslim hate crimes. As history tells you, I ended up deciding that this goal was something greater than the fear of what might happen. My first memory of wearing the hijab outside of home/the mosque was of going to Yogurtland after Taraweeh prayer. I remember telling my parents that I just didn't want to uncover the messy hair that was hiding underneath the scarf; but, really, I just wanted to see what is was like. We were in a group and my hijabi cousin was there too so I felt like I had enough of a team for backup. The result of my little taste of the hijab: I felt really happy about it, but it wasn't a big deal to anyone else. My second memory of wearing the hijab outside was on Easter Sunday, April 2012. At this point, my parents knew of my plans and wanted me to get a feel for it before I got back to school after spring break. So, my mom and I decided to go shopping. However, being Muslim, we were oblivious to the fact that it was Easter Sunday so only a few stores were even open. But the nerves had built back up since my first experience, and I just remember sitting there, freaking out about wearing my hijab even in the car. Eventually, I did get some real practice when wee went to the mall the following weekend. I could feel the stares of every Forever 21 employee as I sifted through the racks. The strange looks definitely took some getting used to. "On April 16th, 2012, I wore a headscarf to school for the very first time. I was scared out of my mind at what people would say about me, but at the same time, I was comfortable. I got to take the love of my community at the mosque and the inspiration of the Qur’an with me everywhere I went. My bright and sometimes multicolored scarves became a symbol of empowerment for me. Hijab is a choice I make every single day of my life and never once regret." That brings me to present day: my 5-year hijab anniversary, or "hijabiversary", as I like to call it. I think the one thing wearing hijab has really taught me about is beauty. Often times, people will say that wearing a headscarf and dressing modestly like Muslim women do is a way to hide their beauty. The truth is that it's really about changing the conversation on what beauty is. "...my beauty does not lie solely in my hair. Beauty is beyond physicality-- I’m not any less pretty without my body, and I’m allowed beauty regardless of it. To me, wearing hijab is a reminder that my beauty is in what I learn, how I grow, the world that I create around me." I think after 5 years of experience, I am now officially credited to give advice. So, to anyone who wants to wear hijab full time, I would give two recommendations: make sure your heart is in it, and don't forget why you wear it. Without those two things, you're going to find yourself struggling through even the smallest of questions or shortest seconds of self-doubt.
5 years later, and I can still say that there is nothing I would change in the decision I made. Through thick and thin, for better or for worse, my headscarves are forever pinned to me. Welcome to March! I hope you've been enjoying the lovely spring weather. As a senior, March has proven to be a very stressful month, first with waiting for admissions decisions letters and now with trying to make a decision on where I'd like to be for the next four years of my life. So with that, a lot of the items that I'm using this month are to help me keep up with the workload I'm currently taking on, whether it be some easy organizational staples or versatile jewelry that can be worn day to day with any outfit.
I hope you enjoyed seeing my favorite items from March!
Unveiled: |
| Most people think of a scarf as a fun accessory for cold days, but at a place in history, the scarf was one of the most American symbols possible. I’m sure you’ve seen the images of Tippi Hedren, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and Marilyn Monroe sitting in convertibles, silk Hermes scarves wrapped around their heads, sunglasses perched on their noses, hair peaking out. They were the image of glamour. |
But now, a scarf on the head, not so pretty of a picture in your mind. In recent years, this one piece of fabric has gone from fun and flirty to a symbol of oppression and submission. This new interpretation stems from the scarf as a religious item. It’s part of a larger conversation on the presence of Islamophobia and the Islamic concept of hijab. |
Hijab is defined as the obligation that Muslim men and women have to practice modesty in certain areas of our lives with the most well-known being the way we dress. For a Muslim woman, the covering of her body sometimes includes what you see me wearing here today: a headscarf, commonly known as “the hijab” with the slang term “hijabi” referring to a woman who wears a hijab.
And, the reason that I specify this as a “sometimes” thing is that, like in all religions, it’s always up to the individual on what they choose to practice. Even the specific parameters on what is supposed to be covered and in front of whom is up to interpretation, but the usual idea is that you cover your hair in front of men who are not related to you. In the end, choosing to wear a hijab full time is a decision that comes down to a woman’s personal relationship with God.
However, it usually does come with judgement from her friends, her family, and strangers alike. I know for me, at 13 years old, telling my family and friends that this was something I wanted for myself, some of those voices said “why now? Why not wait a few years?” or “what if you regret your decision?”
I was never shaken by these questions because I’ve inherited that Khan family stubbornness when it comes to the things I want in life. But the one voice that frightened me came from my uncle, saying “Beta, just remember, you have to represent Islam well.”
I brushed it off at first. I was like, “well yeah, Chachu, I’m amazing how could I not represent Islam well”. This idea of being an ambassador to Islam didn’t really register in my mind until I actually had to live it. I think every hijabi and even every Muslim understands the experience, when your headscarf or how you look has marked you as a spokesperson for Islam. It means scouring your mind for every tidbit of information you learned in Sunday school just to get through a normal day.
And, the reason that I specify this as a “sometimes” thing is that, like in all religions, it’s always up to the individual on what they choose to practice. Even the specific parameters on what is supposed to be covered and in front of whom is up to interpretation, but the usual idea is that you cover your hair in front of men who are not related to you. In the end, choosing to wear a hijab full time is a decision that comes down to a woman’s personal relationship with God.
However, it usually does come with judgement from her friends, her family, and strangers alike. I know for me, at 13 years old, telling my family and friends that this was something I wanted for myself, some of those voices said “why now? Why not wait a few years?” or “what if you regret your decision?”
I was never shaken by these questions because I’ve inherited that Khan family stubbornness when it comes to the things I want in life. But the one voice that frightened me came from my uncle, saying “Beta, just remember, you have to represent Islam well.”
I brushed it off at first. I was like, “well yeah, Chachu, I’m amazing how could I not represent Islam well”. This idea of being an ambassador to Islam didn’t really register in my mind until I actually had to live it. I think every hijabi and even every Muslim understands the experience, when your headscarf or how you look has marked you as a spokesperson for Islam. It means scouring your mind for every tidbit of information you learned in Sunday school just to get through a normal day.
To me, it was a little bit scary to feel like I had to answer for everything every Muslim in all of history had done. So much of what people asked me about came from a negative view of Islam: no one asked me about what it’s like to go perform pilgrimage or learn to read Arabic-- which are some of the most amazing experiences I’ve had in my life. Instead, they asked about Osama Bin Laden and 72 virgins. |
This twisted image of Islam really came from a stereotype of my religion that Islamophobia had sparked. September 11th, 2001 created an environment where a grief-stricken and heart-broken public turned their fear and anger into misinformed vitriol. They acted against Muslims or people who just looked like they were of Arab-descent, even if that included their friends and neighbors. The amount of anti-Muslim hate crimes went from 28 cases in 2000 to 481 in 2001. Even a Christian church with a Middle-Eastern congregation was set on fire 12 days after the attacks. So on one hand, there was the fear that non-Muslims had for this strange religion that they didn’t quite understand. It had been used as the reasoning for an act of violence. On the other hand, there was the fear that Muslims had for their own safety. For many women in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, wearing a headscarf felt as if they were placing a target on themselves. The hijab had become a symbol of the outcasts Muslims were in society. |
The world after 9/11 was different, but for me, I was practically born into it. I was only 2 years old at the time of the attacks, and I didn’t even know what the numbers “nine eleven” meant until 4th grade. I heard kids at school whispering about them after I mentioned that I was Muslim. So, curious as I was, I tried to Google it. I typed the numbers in 9-1-1, and at first, all that came up was the emergency phone number.
Finding out about 9/11 made me determined to talk about religion more, learn about it for myself as well, and make it a bigger part of my life.
In 7th grade, I was halfway finished with memorizing the Qur’an and earning the title of hafiza. It had been a dream of mine for a while, and when I got to that halfway point, I realized that there was no going back for me. Religion would always be a priority in my life, and really the next big step to commit myself to this relationship with God was wearing hijab full time. |
On April 16th, 2012, I wore a headscarf to school for the very first time. I was scared out of my mind at what people would say about me, but at the same time, I was comfortable. I got to take the love of my community at the mosque and the inspiration of the Qur’an with me everywhere I went. My bright and sometimes multicolored scarves became a symbol of empowerment for me. Hijab is a choice I make every single day of my life and never once regret. |
The problem with comments like this is that my beauty does not lie solely in my hair. Beauty is beyond physicality-- I’m not any less pretty without my body, and I’m allowed beauty regardless of it. To me, wearing hijab is a reminder that my beauty is in what I learn, how I grow, the world that I create around me.
| There are a lot of hijabis out there who embody this message for me. Even in a world where Muslim women who wear hijab are more likely to face discrimination that those who don’t, these hijabis challenge stereotypes, combat the fear of Islam, and make a name for themselves. These women are fashion bloggers, makeup artists, CEO’s, journalists, Olympic medalists, legislators. |
These women have not only taught me that Muslims can be game-changers and change-makers, but that I don’t have to hide my faith. Most importantly, these women have taught me that although hijab is part of my identity, it doesn’t necessarily define it.
Nowadays, rude comments about my headscarf still shake me up, but I’m no longer fearful of what people think of me. I blog about my outfits as part of the world of hijab fashion. I speak openly about religion and why it feels like home to me. I’m confident in my identity as a Muslim-American teenager living in the post-9/11 world. But there was one day that I will never forget.
Many times, you’ll hear people talk about where they were when 9/11 happened. I don’t know where I was. I might’ve been drawing on my sister’s textbooks or watching Sesame Street.
Nowadays, rude comments about my headscarf still shake me up, but I’m no longer fearful of what people think of me. I blog about my outfits as part of the world of hijab fashion. I speak openly about religion and why it feels like home to me. I’m confident in my identity as a Muslim-American teenager living in the post-9/11 world. But there was one day that I will never forget.
Many times, you’ll hear people talk about where they were when 9/11 happened. I don’t know where I was. I might’ve been drawing on my sister’s textbooks or watching Sesame Street.
But I do know where I was on November 9th, 2016, the day after the US Presidential Election. I woke up that morning, remembering how I had sat all night in front of the TV with my parents, my heart slowly sinking as the polls rolled in. That morning, I Googled it again just to make sure. “Presidential election results”. |
That morning, for the first time in almost 5 years, I didn’t want to wear my hijab. It felt like a little part of that girl in 7th grade died that day. I was going to live the next 4 years of my life in a country where people believed this was not only acceptable, but worthy of their support. The fear for my own safety was there, and it was so real. But I wore my hijab anyways. |
That day, wearing it wasn’t about empowerment or beauty. It was about identity. It was about feeling the pain of every Muslim in my community, every Muslim who was waking up to the same news. It was about supporting the people whose lives were in a worse condition than mine , the people who were suffering from the real threats to Islam, the real terrors of the world. It was about knowing that fear should never make your decisions for you.
I don’t know how the next few years are going to pan out, but I know that I can’t forget the lessons I’ve learned along the way. And, if there are any words of wisdom I value now more than ever, it’s a quote from Marie Curie.
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
I don’t know how the next few years are going to pan out, but I know that I can’t forget the lessons I’ve learned along the way. And, if there are any words of wisdom I value now more than ever, it’s a quote from Marie Curie.
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
An essential part of the two month wait that comes between submitting your last few college applications and receiving your admissions decision emails is scouring Pinterest for ways to decorate your future dorm room. This cheap and simple DIY is perfect to both make a statement and also keep yourself busy during those impatiently dreadful weeks.
3. Now, for the most important step: decorating! You can cut out other pieces of felt, use some tasseled trim, and adorn it with beads or buttons. Mine says "Fashion Queen" for the nickname that my cousins made for me. If you pin down all the pieces, its easier to keep everything in place as you go around gluing everything down. |
4. Last but not least, tie a piece of yarn to either end of the dowel so that you can hang it easily. I took three pieces and braided them together for a some more texture.
This past Monday, I got to attend my first and last Fashion Club Day at FIDM's Orange County campus. FIDM is the Fashion Institute for Design and Merchandising and the school sponsors fashion clubs all over the country, including the one at my school that I am currently president of. This was my second time visiting the OC campus, one of the smaller ones among the four (Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Orange County).
My outfit for the day was a bell-sleeved, loose peplum blouse, silver necklace, black and white patterned pashmina, boyfriend jeans, and black ankle boots. Turns out I was actually pretty on trend because we learned one of the big trends for 2017 is fun sleeves! (Quietly ignore the weird face I make when I look in the viewfinder) |
The FIDM library has pink floors, just like the rest of the OC campus, and books everywhere covering topics related to every FIDM major. FIDM libraries are usually my favorite place to be when I visit because there's so many more books on fashion than the one bookshelf our library has.
Our first workshop was making DIY items with felt, an activity which we can take to our clubs later on. We used the banner tutorial and made banners for ourselves and for our Fashion Club advisor.
The Fashion Club Day was definitely a lot of fun and I would recommend club presidents to attend future events as well because they help gain connections with FIDM staff and students from other high schools. If you're interested in visiting FIDM, you should look up their free weekend workshops or RSVP for their Debut Fashion Show in spring! |
Insha Khan
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